Ry and I burst out laughing and launched into this goofy game. I encourage additions by way of comments. I'm sure a little harmless fun will brighten the day of stressed takeout food service workers in a season of hostile, busy shoppers barking orders with no regard for civility or kindness.
Non-Sequiter Requests for Food Service Ordering
Rules: Ask, politely, for one legitimate food or beverage item the establishment actually sells. Then add, "and a (non-food non-related) item. Say it smoothly, so it flows like a legit request. Wait for confusion and laughter.
1. I'd like a medium regular and a puppet show.
2. Could I have a cheeseburger and a Barry White Album?
3. May I have a burrito and some bunny slippers?
4. I'd like a small fry and a scuba suit.
5. We would like a chicken sandwich and a chipped china cup
6. May I have a large ice tea and a light saber?
You get the point. Keep it kind. Alliteration is a bonus. Smiling, laughing and explaining will make it fun for the server as well. Remember, this is about spreading laughter, not harassing the staff. I recommend tipping the server after you do this. It's a small price to pay to add a little cheer and good will to the day of someone who could probably really use both.
A Little PSA for the Holiday Season - food service workers rarely make a livable wage. In fact, food servers in restaurants make as little as $2.17 per hour plus tips which gives the owners a HUGE break but rely on customers to bring that number up to an actual wage.Waitstaff checks are typically $0 after tax on tips claimed, so those tips are THE ONLY REASON THEY WORK THERE. No matter the cost of your plate, the server still gets $2.17 per hour. So tip according to what you spend and how the server performs his or her job. And, if you are using a Groupon or a Restaurant.com or some other discount card, tip on the total cost before the deal, because servers work just as hard to get a half price plate onto your table as a full priced one. And they have presents to buy, too.